The Zen Mom Confessional

Apr
15
2014

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This post is something that’s been on my mind for awhile. Sorry I’ve been a little MIA lately, I’ve been at the next stage of my mom journey and I have not shared it with you. I’m slowing things down a bit to really focus on the moments and what’s important in my life and my business.

I started this blog as a personal journey after my first son was born. Can you believe that was almost 6 years ago? I’ve been writing and sharing for 6 years! At first only once in a while, but once I started taking blogging seriously, I posted up to 3 times a week. Then I started writing for other publications as well, speaking at conferences, doing social media events, I dived in full force while still hosting and doing voiceovers. This year, I’ve slowed down a bit. I have to admit I got a little burnt out.

Like everything I do, if I’m going to do it, I do it full out, but that defeated the purpose of The Zen Mom. I started The Zen Mom as a way for Type A me to explore being more zen to find more peace in motherhood and to continue to share my voice after leaving my full-time anchor job.

But finding my zen became a full-time job- I was learning about it, writing about it, I immersed myself in social media and to make sure I got the message out I was staying up late, really late after the kids went to bed and I was not always so zen in the morning and not always fully living it. But I never said I was always zen, it was all about the discovery.

And I have discovered and evolved and in some ways I have become The Zen Mom. I’ve always done yoga, but I didn’t use to meditate, I do now. I’m still Type A, but I have a different mission and purpose, I’m still a foodie and love a little junk now and then, but I really believe in the power of clean eating and a healthy lifestyle. I love meeting soulful individuals and learning from them and sharing their message to help people live a better life. (I still dream of The Zen Mom being a some sort of show down the line.)

I love what The Zen Mom has become, but I’m not the over-tired first time mom sitting behind a computer trying to figure out which baby bottle is best or how to get my kids sleep-trained. (But if you are, I totally get it and have lots of posts in the archives to help out new moms)
I’ve been there done that and now that my kids are 4 and 6, I’m at the next stage of my journey. I’m about rediscovering what my priorities are and what I stand for. What do I want to be for me? What do I want to be for my children? What do I want to be for the world?
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A few months ago I went to Tony Robbins’-Unleash The Power Within and I walked on fire.
Yes, like Oprah. And yes, I made it through and I didn’t burn myself. No, it’s not a cult.

My husband had gone and suggested I go as well and I told him I don’t have time to go. I had just relaunched Zen Media Inc., my media training business and was already doing a lot of online business programs and feeling behind and didn’t want to learn more stuff that I didn’t have time to implement.

I ended up going and what I realized is, I was stuck and at times depressed and unhappy. I didn’t go because I was unhappy in fact, I didn’t know.

But how could I be unhappy? I had everything I needed, a loving family, 2 great kids, a growing business, nothing was wrong. How could I have the right to be unhappy. Who has time to be unhappy? I’m a type of person if something is wrong I fix it, I figure a way out, but in life sometimes you can’t figure your way out right away, you just have to be with it for a bit.

I was depressed because I was running at 100 mph and trying to be everything, a supportive wife, a good mom that made homemade food and picked up her kids from school, that maintained a media business and still had time to be healthy and have fun. I used to be 100% at everything I did, but I only had me to worry about. Now I have a family and it’s not just about me.

So now to accommodate maybe I was running at 100+ % in all areas of my life, but only achieving 50% satisfaction, which isn’t so bad. But 50% for all my time and energy does not make me happy, so I was depressed. My life is good, but I wasn’t excelling and that was hard for me.

So maybe the key was to know where I want to put my energy and that running myself into the ground is not good for anyone.

So I’m starting to prioritize more and slow down a bit. Which is hard for me. I’m an over achiever and somehow I’ve been wired that getting things done and achieving equals validation. I’m still learning.

I’ve been a little less active on social media trying to have down time and really focus on being with people in real life and in the moment. I’ve said it before and have written about appreciating the moments often, but I’m really starting to feel it more.
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My kids are at a very good age and I don’t want to miss it. In fact, I just got back from a trip to Taiwan to visit my grandmother. I haven’t been there since I was 12. My parents immigrated from there in the 70’s. I brought my son, it was his first international trip. (I’ll share more from our trip later). It was truly special. I had been putting it off saying I didn’t have time. I made the time.

I’m also focused on healing my body. I feel like after 2 kids I’m a little messed up. My back has been hurting for years, not enough to keep me from doing anything, but no more I’m a mom excuses. I’ve been going to the chiro, acupuncture, and doing back exercises and not just when my back goes out. It’s time to heal.

So this is where I’m at and I wanted to share with you.

I’m still growing my business, Zen Media Inc. If you want to check it out I share inspirational blog posts there as well, free tips more focused on growing your business and your brand and I will continue to share voices of wisdom and inspiration on The Zen Mom. If you would like to be a contributor let me know. So for now, I’m focusing on cleaning house- physically, emotionally and getting really clear on what I want in my life and what I want to give.

Thanks for being a part of my community. How are things going for you? Where are you on your mom journey? Have a great week.

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