Building Self-Esteem: 5 Ways To Find Your Daughter’s Spark


Dove Mom 2 6 in 10 girls stop doing what they love because of their looks. But imagine a world where beauty is a source of confidence, not anxiety. A few weeks ago I was at the Mom 2.0 Summit where Dove launched their new self esteem campaign to help make “Girls Unstoppable” and shine a light on those who never stop doing what they love. They hope to reach 15 million girls by 2015 with self-esteem programming. Do you know an unstoppable girl?

Share your inspirational unstoppable girl story and find other self esteem tools here.

But inspiring the next generation also starts at home and within ourselves. As a mom with a pre-school aged daughter I hope to instill her with confidence and a positive self-esteem. How do we nurture this starting at a young age and beyond?

TZM Contributor Erica Rood shares tips for building your daughter’s self-esteem-5 Ways To Find Your Daughter’s Spark.

Your daughter’s spark* is what makes her light up. It is what fills her with excitement and enthusiasm. Sometimes, sparks can be bright and obvious, but sometimes they hide under fear or uncertainty. More often, the spark needs to be discovered and lit up! Helping your daughter find her spark and helping her nurture it is as important as buckling her seatbelt or brushing her teeth.

Why? Because it is the spark that lights up her life’s purpose and illuminates her path. When your daughter recognizes her spark and lets it shine brightly, she will more content, satisfied, and motivated.

Sparks can be anything from music to helping friends to writing, poetry, to playing sports.

How you can help identify and light her spark:

1.Tap into her skills or talents.
Does your daughter love to write, draw, sing, or dance? If there is something she is naturally good at and enjoys, this may be her spark. Purposefully notice it and complement her on her enthusiasm, skill, talent, or dedication.

2. Notice if your daughter is committed to a particular cause.
Is there a particular area that she cares deeply about? The environment? Animals? Friends? Help her get involved in charities or organizations that align with her passion.

3. Observe what is unique about your daughter’s character.
Is there a part of her personality that stands out to you and others? Share your own uniqueness and help her discover the amazing qualities that make her who she is. Then celebrate it!

4.Rekindle your own spark.
What were you like as a child? What did you love to do? What sparks your life today? Share your spark enthusiastically with your daughter.

5. Help her wonder about potential sparks.
Anytime you have a chance, ask her questions that get her thinking about her passions, dreams, and interests. Use these for starters:
Have you ever wondered what it might be like to…. ? Imagine what it would feel like to….. ?

*Spark is a term coined by Dr. Peter Benson, founder of the Search Institute and a leading expert on adolescence. To read more about sparks, visit
*TZM was not paid for this post.

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