Things always seem easier in retrospect, right? My second child is now 20 months old and I think how did that happen so fast. She is no longer a baby, but now a walking, talking (babbling) little girl. Recently many of my mom friends have just had their 2nd or about to and it makes me think back to that time when I was about to be a 2nd time mom.
So this month’s Zen Letter is dedicated to the new 2nd time mom!
Dear 2nd Time Mom,
Congratulations! I hope you had a smooth delivery and are feeling good. So you’re home, now what? You’ve been through this before, so you’re probably feeling more at ease, but you may still be feeling a little uncertain. I remember being much more relaxed, but still had a lot of questions.
How am I going to have time with my first? Will they be jealous? How do I breastfeed and entertain my toddler? I have to take two of them out now? Will I ever sleep again? What’s up with my belly?
First, isn’t it amazing how little they are? I forgot what it was like to hold a newborn. They are so peaceful when they’re sleep. Treasure this time-they’ll be walking in no time.
I know you’re not looking forward to sleep deprivation again, but you know it doesn’t last forever. And hopefully you have somebody helping you out, especially the first month so you don’t burn out trying to do it all by yourself, like I did with my first. Husband, mother, mother in law, doula, someone.
On the plus side, you have all the stuff! It feels good to put it to use again, right? And isn’t it liberating to not be so freaked out about everything? You don’t have as much time to worry about everything.
-The babies cries didn’t bother me as much. I realized it’s normal, especially if they are tired. I didn’t have to rush in at every second.
-If you breastfeed you know what to do, that “whoosh whoosh” of the pump is just a normal part of the routine.
-If you run out of milk, you may realize maybe formula is not so bad.
- Also, dirt didn’t bother me as much. Of course I protected my baby from all the elements, especially the first month, but I wasn’t as big of a germaphobe.
Here’s what helped me out:
-Having someone to help me with my other child (my son who wasn’t even 2 yet) for the first few weeks so he could run around. Then I could have more time with my newborn and not feel guilty for being at home.
-When I breastfed, I tried to have a some special toys handy or something new to keep my son occupied.
-When it’s time to venture out, just leave yourself extra time and do it when you’re ready. It’s not as hard as you think, it’s just takes more time and there’s more stuff. Eventually you get really good at carrying your baby in one hand and chasing or yelling at your other one at the same time. It just takes practice.
And as far as sibling rivarly goes, yes, it is a factor and will probably always be a struggle, but the moments are priceless when they hug each other with such love and then smack each other in the face!
In the end, it all works out, but when you’re going through it, it’s not always so easy. Just remember in a few years it will all be a blur, just like it was with your first.
The Zen Mom
If you’re a mom with more than one child do you have any wisdom to share? If you’re expecting what are your concerns? I’d love to hear from you.